like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
