I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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