just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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