I puked a lego.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
