I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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