youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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