Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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