I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize