Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
