She is in my trunk
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Randomize
