Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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