I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
