I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
