Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
