what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i think im in europe. pls send help
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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