their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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