Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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