I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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