Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
