Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
