dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
you never un-have a 4some
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