Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
