Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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