Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize