The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize