we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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