jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
