I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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