I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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