home. puking in laundry basket.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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