Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
