Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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