There was a lot of him and a little penis
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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