there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
