Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize