We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
