i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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