I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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