I molested 6 butterflies tonight
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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