I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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