My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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