I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize