It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize