there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Come share oat with me in your robe
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
