why didn't you poke me back
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If I die, sorry about rent.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
