fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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