maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize