there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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