New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
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Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
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Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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