Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
