He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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