During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
