let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
