And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
