girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
