my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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