I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
