I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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