i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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