I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
