if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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