So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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