Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
